As much as I hate to admit it (or place any blame on our sweet little baby), I have to say that my lack of energy and constant sickness is not normal. It's definitely pregnancy-related. I don't know that I have been extremely emotional, but I definitely feel a little more sensitive to personal comments. I've been struggling a lot with certain ones, but I'll refrain from posting them here, as I'm currently in the midst of some massive prayer-journaling and praying about the Lord handling it for me, so I stop worrying and crying over it all. It's amazing how those comments can hurt so badly!
Have any of you ever watched 7th Heaven? Well, if you have, you know that Lucy has two constants in her life: She's always the last to know what's going on, and she's extremely emotional. Lately, I've felt a lot like Lucy. :) But I'm trying to keep a lot of it private, because I don't want anyone being as upset about stuff as I am. Thankfully my husband has been so supportive, and has been very encouraging, as well as a shoulder to cry on for me. He tells me every day that he loves me, and that he wouldn't have it any other way. This is so important to me, and I don't think he'll ever know just how much it means to me! (Again, those emotions... lol!)
The weight loss is still continuing, though not at such a rapid rate as it was. I'm currently down about 24 lbs. since August 31st. Normally, I would think that was great. But now that I'm into the 2nd trimester and still losing, I'm definitely bringing it up at the appointment next week. I'm willing to try anything at this point. I have some questions that I can hopefully get resolved there, but it's so discouraging (ironic!) to see the numbers on the scale keep dropping, even if it's ever so slight. I got so upset about it last week that I quit weighing myself every few days. I try to only do it once a week if I can. I know it's normal to lose a little bit of weight during the first trimester, but I feel like I've lost so much! I want to be the best mommy I can be, and it seems like I'm not doing the baby any favors by continuing to lose weight. I know that in the 1st trimester, the baby gets what it needs from me, but I want to talk to the doctor about any other (natural) solutions I can try. I've been faithful to take the anti-nausea medicine, but I really really wish I didn't have to. Other peoples' stories are not really comforting me anymore, and I have to say that I just get more sad about it because I've been so sick, and I feel like the general consensus around me is to just "deal" with it....when I know what's going on isn't normal. It's so difficult! Again, I am so grateful for my husband. He's been amazing through all of this!
That being said, I know that as long as I'm sick, the baby is okay. I'm trying to stay focused on that! My Auntie Judy gave me two really nice books for the baby tonight, and I was super excited! (For those of you who don't know, I love reading, and my Auntie Judy is a big encourager of that - being a teacher and all!) It really lifted my spirits, and I even smiled when I set them in the guest room (soon-to-be nursery) with all the other baby clothes and gear we already have. :)
The other losing battle I'm facing is my goals. It's no fun to look at my growing list, and not be able to check things off simply because I don't have the energy and stamina to get things done. Don't get me wrong - I know it's necessary to get a lot of rest and take naps for my health and the baby's health. It's just hard for me since I'm usually so motivated and productive. Last Saturday, I actually had enough energy to pick up the house (family, dining, and living rooms and the kitchen), and vacuum the entryway, family room, living room and hallway. That was quite the feat for me! I wanted to clean the kitchen floor and bathrooms, too, but I had to save that for this weekend. I was so tired when I finished.
Without further ado, here is the update on my goals last month (please don't hold it against me!)
- Clean office
- Clean guest room
- Clean vinyl floors 1x weekly
- Vaccuum 1x weekly (twice is tough when you're trying to kick a lingering head cold!)
- Set dining room table with autumn decorations & plates
- Finish 5 more Christmas gifts
- List 5 things on eBay
- Start preparing my ledger for taxes from etsy & eBay (notice I said "start." This whole task is very time-consuming, but since the bulk of my sales happen between 10/1, and 12/24, I'm starting early).
- Email the Newsletter to the church office by Fri., Oct. 26th
- Start making gift tags for Christmas gifts - Not yet, because I can't decide how I want to do them this year! I have about 4 ideas, though.
- Do laundry on Sundays or Mondays and Thursdays - I actually got back to doing that, for the most part! Now to put it all away....
- Start the thankfulness journal for REAL - I did! :)
- Read 1 chapter from Proverbs & 5 chapters from Psalms daily
- Read the "Daily Bread" devotional every day
- Check all Bible Quizzing study guides for errors
- Donate 5 bags of stuff we don't need to Value Village (this will mean going through things...) - I think I got rid of 4, so I call it success.
- Have Robert help me clean out the pantry & food cabinets in the house - Yep! He did it!
- Work on my Christmas music on both violin & piano :) - Yes! I'm feeling better about piano than violin at this point, though.
I am really excited to say that even amongst having about $1,000 in car/ truck maintenance (mostly tires) in the last month, we also made a major financial achievement! I'm so excited about it! It's taken a lot of sacrifice and discipline from both of us, and I'm so proud of our progress.
Here are my goals for November:
- 2 new fudges in my Etsy Shop
- Baby bump pictures for the blog (probably not bare belly, but we'll see)
- Read 1 chapter from Proverbs & 5 chapters from Psalms daily
- Finish the rest of the Christmas gifts
- Pick up, vacuum and dust our bedroom (sad that I used to do this all the time, and my goal is to do it once this month)
- Try to drink 8 more ounces of water every day
- Pray for the burden of the hurtful comments to be lifted (really, this is about me giving it up to God)
- Spend a little bit of time every day on Pinterest (I find this relaxes me and I am always happy after I do it! It even helps me accomplish some of my goals!) I just don't want to spend hours upon hours on it
- Girls day with my BFF (Scheduled! I can't wait!)
- Christmas pictures
- Read all the library books I checked out (reading also relaxes me)
- Help mom & Perry with Thanksgiving prep
- Christmas decorating done before Dec. 1st (Not sure when my energy will drop off from day to day, so this is more so we don't have the Christmas tubs laying around everywhere for weeks)
- Put more effort into selling stuff on eBay
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