This is something that has been on my mind for the past 24 hours or so.
There are a few people I know who, probably without intending to do so, tend to say things like, "Oh, you don't even know...." or, "Let me tell you," or even my least favorite, "You have no idea..."
You know what? I'm getting so tired of hearing it. It's annoying, it's petty and it's really belittling. I shared this sentiment with a dear friend today. She is someone I admire and look up to, and in whom I safely put my trust regarding issues like this. You know what she said? "When you say those phrases, you actually belittle the person who just said something to you!"
She's absolutely right. Not only do you make their problem/ issue/ concern/ stress/ situation seem like it does not matter at all - let alone to you - but you also cut them off! It does not leave any room for any further open-ended conversation. Period.
See that picture? That's a picture of something we all ought to be using as our one and only guide book, rules to follow, and general knowledge of how to get through this life.
And yet, we don't.
We have a difficult time pulling it out. We struggle to get through reading even a chapter a day. We might lug it around from place to place, but what do we really do with it?
That's right; we literally ignore God's Word!
Trust me when I say that I am just posting this to tell other people how to live; I am guilty of this far too often. When I did a quick search for the word "friend," on my favorite Bible site (biblegateway.com), 120 search results came up. And that's just a quick, basic search. That doesn't count what I have in my brain, what I've been taught previously, my own thoughts on the issue, or the World-Wide Web's opinion - it's simply what is contained in the Word of God.
When we say the phrases I listed at the beginning of this blog, we leave no options for our dear friends, family, co-workers, etc. Those statements are closed-off, dramatic and in my opinion just plain rude. That being said, I'm going to put a disclaimer out there right now: If you ever hear me use those phrases, gracefully and lovingly pull me aside and explain to me that it's not attractive.
When I was in middle school and junior high, some of the girls used to think it was cool to swear. You know what I found out? Going to a public, secular school? None of the boys are impressed by it. They find it unattractive. Yep, that's right; those sweaty, smelly, wonderful, sweet, strange teenage boys were not smitten by this nasty habit of some girls. So why did anyone ever do it?
Because we're living in an instant-gratification driven culture. See it, want it, buy it - no matter the cost. That's how we look at consumer goods and material purchases. So what do we do when we're with one another as adults? Hear it, one-up it, feel like we're on top.
Don't even try to deny it.
My dear friend and I discussed that today, as well. She shared that she sometimes doesn't contribute to discussions or conversations simply because she either would prefer to hear what others have to say, or because she doesn't feel a need to come out on top. I couldn't have agreed with her more, and it sure made me check myself, and think twice about what I was saying and when.
Is it really appropriate to talk at this time? Is it necessary to say something? Why do I want to interject? Do I want attention, or do I just feel I have something worthwhile, wholesome and encouraging to share? Those are all questions I will forever ask myself when I'm in a conversation from now on.
Proverbs 18:24 says, "A man of too many friends comes to ruin, but there is a friend who sticks closer than a brother." (NASB). You know what I love most about that? The "too many friends" phrase! It is not all about popularity! In fact, it's got nothing to do with it! And in the end, you'll have that one, true, honest, and close friend - the one you always share your heart with. The one who's always there for you.
The entire chapter of Ephesians 4 talks about valuing everyone in the body of Christ, speaking the truth in love, and esteeming and encouraging others. Take 10 minutes and read it. You won't be sorry.
Put this stuff into action, my beloved readers. Feel free to share your responses to this post here. :)
No comments:
Post a Comment